


Summer Memories

by itismimi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24909295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itismimi/pseuds/itismimi
Summary: It was summer when you left, and it was summer when you came back.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime & Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 23
Kudos: 114





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> A Haikyuu AU inspired by Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day.

He was sweating when he woke up.

Kei could hear the cicadas’ noise from his bed. His room feel hot and humid—it makes him feel annoyed. He gets up from his bed and looks out from his window, feeling the gentle wind washes his face. He closes his eyes, a breeze of memories come without warning and his chest tightens. A boy with beautiful eyes, a boy with determined gaze but a gentle smile.

_It’s summer again._

*

Tsukishima Kei isn’t stupid, he’s really not. That’s why when he failed the prestigious high school— _Aoba Johsai_ entrance exam, nobody believes it. Yamaguchi kept calling him (he didn’t answer it) despite their _no communication_ for years, Hinata kept asking about him whenever he saw his father (his father usually shop at Hinata's family shop), and he felt Oikawa and Iwaizumi blank stares at the graduation ceremony. _He didn’t like all of it._

He ended up attending Karasuno High School with Yamaguchi and Hinata, but after a week he stopped going to school.

_Nothing felt right and he just want to stay at home—eating ramen or playing video games. Listening to the music or spacing out until he fell asleep._

_No one asked him to go to school anyway, not even his parents._

*

It’s summer break, but then again he’s been staying at home for about 3 months so there’s nothing special—nothing changed beside his status, from _‘forever skipping school student’_ to _‘student in holiday’._ Nothing changed with his daily routine—wake up, take a shower, eat ramen, and then just randomly spend the day by watching TV or playing video games.

But today, _something_ changed.

He woke up with _something_ pressed to his chest.

“What—“

He couldn’t continue his words because… he couldn’t. His tongue froze, he couldn’t breathe and his eyes wide open like saucers.

_‘This can’t be happening. It’s impossible.’_ He panicked, eyes still glued at _something_ in his chest.

_‘Am I dreaming? I haven’t woke up?’_ He tried to pinch his cheek _hard,_ and it really hurt that he needed to whine.

And then that _something_ stirred. That _head_ moves slowly, and Kei couldn’t do anything even though he wanted.

That _head_ lifted from his chest and Kei was welcomed by a _familiar face._

_That beautiful eyes._

_That determined gaze._

_That._

_Gentle._

_Smile._

“Kei.”

_‘If this is a dream, I don’t want to wake up. Forever.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Hinata, Oikawa and Iwaizumi are same-aged friends.
> 
> Hello! This is my first story I posted in AO3 and I’m still figuring out how AO3 works (i don't know how to tag omg hahaha). First of all, English is not my first language and there might be many grammatical errors because everything is unbetaed so I’m sorry in advance :(
> 
> This story is inspired by Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day (if you haven’t watch it, give it a try. It’s really good!) and I am trying to make the characters not too OOC but for the sake of the plot, it’s kinda hard~ If you’re not comfortable, I’m sorry and maybe you could find another story that you could enjoy :)
> 
> I think my updates will be short, but I hope I could update consistently. Lastly, thank you for reading! I hope we could enjoy this together.


	2. What Are You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The confusion is rising.

“Oi, what’s with your face? Close your mouth,” the _something_ talked and Kei blinked. The _something_ looked at him with unfriendly stare—gentle smile vanished, replaced by a _familiar frown._

_‘He doesn’t change at all. It proves that this is a dream. But why I cannot pinch my cheek to wake up? It hurts like hell,’_ Kei thought while staring at the _something._ He didn’t know what to do with that _something,_ so he decided to get up and take a shower. _He needed to cool off his head._

“Oi, where are you going? Don’t ignore me!” that _something_ shouted, all too familiar to Kei that it made him shivered. He ignored it and goes straight to his bathroom.

_‘I’m getting crazy.’_

*

Kei did feel refreshed after a long cold shower but he didn’t know what to feel when he finally came out from the bathroom.

_That something._

_Is._

_Cooking._

_Ramen._

_In his kitchen._

“What the hell, how could you use my kitchen? My utensils? _How could you cook ramen?!”_ Kei asked, flabbergasted. He took the egg from that _something_ ’s hand—and he shivered. It was cold—no, it is freezing.

Wait.

He touched that _something._

Kei dropped the egg and it broke.

“What are you doing, really? First you ignore me and now you drop an egg to the _floor?_ Stupid,” that _something_ crouched down with a cloth in his hand, trying to clean the egg mess. Kei stared down at the _something,_ colors started to drain from his face. When the _something_ finally finished and stood straight, looking at him in the eye, Kei mustered up his courage to ask.

“What are you?”

The _something_ looked at him confusedly. “Ha? What do you mean by _what are you,_ stupid?”

The _something_ took another egg from Kei’s fridge and continued his cooking, but Kei turned the stove off and held that _something_ ’s hand.

“I am serious. What are you? What do you want?” The _something_ furrowed his brows—and Kei felt his throat tightened. That _something_ messed his mind—and heart, and he wanted it to stop. He wanted it to leave, to disappear, to leave him alone.

“And I asked you, _what do you mean by what are you?_ I am me. I am Kageyama Tobio, and you know that perfectly. I thought you’re smart, stupid,” the _something_ answered with a scowl— _a scowl that Kei missed a little bit too much. A scowl that Kei was dying to hear, but now when he finally heard it, he didn’t know what to do._

“But you are… you were… you…”

“I am dead, I know.”

“You know?!”

“Yeah, I perfectly know it. Now shoo, I need to make this ramen. I’m hungry.”

“You… are dead and you know it. But here you are in my kitchen, feeling hungry and cooking ramen.”

“Yup, genius, that’s what I do. But thinking about it again, I don’t think I’m hungry. I just want to eat, it’s been a long time since I had ramen! Oh, do you want ramen too? I could cook it for you,” Tobio said lightly, like _there’s nothing wrong in being dead but wanting a bowl of ramen and cooked at someone’s house._

“Am I dreaming?” Kei whispered, but Tobio heard it.

“Nope, you are awake. Here, I’ll prove you,” Tobio said, and suddenly Kei could feel something hit his head—hard.

“What the fuck, it hurts, King!” Kei crouched down, stroking his throbbing head.

It went silent. Kei didn’t realize what’s wrong for some seconds before he _realized_ what’s wrong. He looked up and he saw Tobio’s blank stare. He panicked and grasped Tobio’s hands quickly. _It’s freezing._

“I, I didn’t mean—“ he couldn’t continue his words because Tobio returned his grasp, and the coldness of his hand made Kei’s heart lurched with uncomfortable feeling. Before he could do anything, Tobio looked at him with his _rare,_ gentle smile. There’s lingering sadness in his smile, and it made Kei’s heart lurched even further.

“Now shoo, I’m going to finish my cooking. Sit down and wait patiently, stupid.”

*

Kei didn’t know what to feel. It’s summer break—his parents were gone to his grandparents’ house, his brother hadn’t come home from Tokyo because he had extra classes from college, and here he was eating ramen that _Tobio_ cooked for him.

And that _Tobio_ was eating deliciously in front of him, _like a normal person._

“So you’re a… supernatural thing? Are you a ghost?” Kei asked timidly. He still felt guilty because earlier accident and he didn’t know how to make a conversation with _old friend who supposed to be dead._ Tobio slurped his remaining ramen soup— _something he always did back then,_ and looked at him with wide eyes. He put the bowl down and wiped his mouth before answering Kei’s question.

“I guess? I don’t know. I don’t understand it myself.”

“Can I touch you?”

“What? Are you turning into a pervert?”

“Not that _touch,_ oh my God. Stupid,” Kei growled, but he felt hot in the face. _Tobio is still stupid after become a ghost._

“Well then, just touch. You touched me before, why ask?”

“I… just want to make sure,” Kei answered softly. He stared at Tobio’s eyes—it’s always hard for him to read Tobio, and it’s still hard until now. Tobio gestured at his hand, telling Kei to touch him. Kei moved forward and touched Tobio’s hand.

“It’s freezing.”

“Well, I am a ghost, what do you expect? Duh.”

“You literally just said that you don’t know, stupid.”

“But well, _ghost_ does fit me the most right now, isn’t it?”

“Well, yeah, I guess. But… I can touch you. I can see you too… Why? How?” Tobio looked at him absent-mindedly, laid down on the floor and stretched his hand. He kept silent for a moment and Kei waited patiently.

“It seems like… I still have a wish and I want it to be granted,” Tobio rose up and looked at Kei in the eyes. He’s staring hard and Kei began to feel uncomfortable (well, he’s being stared by a ghost). When Tobio finally broke his stare, Kei unconsciously exhaled the breath he didn’t realize he held.

“And I think… you’re the one who could help me to grant my wish. That’s all I know. How I get into your house, how I could appear in front of you… I don’t know about that.”

“Well, okay… I see. If that’s the case, what’s your wish?”

Tobio didn’t answer, he just grinned sheepishly and stood up, collecting the bowls and took it to the sink.

“That’s the problem. I have many ideas about my wish… I don’t think you should grant _every single of them,_ but I have no idea which wish is _the right one.”_

“Are you kidding me?”

“Of course not, why should I?”

“I can’t believe you’re still stupid… after all this time… after become a ghost…”

“Hey! I can hear you, you know!”

“I’m stating a fact. How could your body grow but your brain isn’t? Scratch that, how could you even grow?” Kei asked while standing up, starting to help Tobio washing the dishes.

“I already said it, I don’t know. Stop asking me questions.”

“Stupid,” Tobio glared and Kei knew that it’s time to stop. They washed the dishes silently—Kei’s trying to comprehend about Tobio who suddenly appeared and Tobio’s trying to understand about his existence. They couldn’t make any conclusion even after the dishes finished.

“Let’s… talk about you more seriously,” Kei said after they dried their hands. Tobio nodded and followed Kei to his room.

_It’s going to be a long day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it will be short hehehe but I hope it's enjoyable! ^^


	3. It Was Summer When I Left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading this story~ here's another short chapter, enjoy! :D

They sat in silence. Tobio couldn’t sit still—Kei didn’t initiate any conversation and he didn’t know what to say because, well, _he has no idea about what happened too._ It’s just… he opened his eyes and voila, he woke up in Kei’s chest. He had full memory about his life _before he’s dead,_ but the time between _that summer_ until _this summer,_ he’s blank. He looked at Kei once again, but the boy still had a hard, confused look in his face like before. Tobio decided to look around Kei’s room—there’s no major change in this room. It looked exactly like what he remembered. The dinosaur figurines, the books, the Playstation (oh, the console looked different, though. New model? Is that PS4?), the TV (it seemed that the TV evolved too, it’s bigger and it’s super thin), the cupboard… the room really didn’t change much. It’s plain and boring.

He wondered if Kei didn’t change much too.

His eyes stopped at an old frame beside Kei’s bed. He didn’t recognize it before, but now, it stood out in his eyes. _That bright red frame, he remembered it. Tooru chose and bought it for everyone while Tadashi printed out their photo. Shou drew the frame and Hajime wrote their squad name. Kei bought another bright red frame and he printed another photo._

_And together, they hung it out in a small, abandoned warehouse on their favorite hill._

**_The Miyagi Monster Players Squad._ **

Tobio wanted to cry.

*

Tobio was born in Tokyo, but his grandfather took him and his sister (who’s 8 year older than him) to Miyagi since he was 3 because their parents were always busy. His grandfather, Kazuyo-san, was a loving grandfather and his sister, Miwa, was a caring sister. They made sure he feels loved, they made sure they fulfil his wishes, and they made sure he felt happy. And he was, _he really was._ But as a simple-minded kid, he couldn’t help but to feel envy when he saw other children _have parents._ When he saw other kids fetched by their parents from the kindergarten, he got mad. He often had fight with other children who started the bully him about his non-existent parents, but he remembered his grandfather words— _don’t fight with people, Tobio—_ so he always tried to leave them alone. His grandfather, seeing Tobio became upset too often, decided to bring him along to the gym where he taught elementary children volleyball. Tobio loved to watch the volleyball practice and he liked to try the moves afterward. Miwa often tagged along to accompany Tobio to play with the ball. Tobio really loved his time in the gym—it made him forget his friends in kindergarten. He fell in love with volleyball.

When he was in elementary school, old enough to participate in practice, his grandfather let him to join the team that he coached and gave him his very first own volleyball. Tobio took the ball everywhere—even to his school. His friends always looked at him confusedly and thought that he was weird, but he ignored it. His friends didn’t bully him like when he was in kindergarten, so he didn’t care. He didn’t interact much in school and other people tended to leave him alone, but he had volleyball and teammates in the gym and he was happy with it.

Tobio remembered it. He remembered passing a year without being friends with anyone in school. And then he passed another year with same pattern, and then another. He remembered walked to his new class, a fresh 4th grader, when he saw a group of boys talking animatedly to each other. They’re talking about a new Playstation game or about One Piece manga updates—he couldn’t care less, when he walked to an empty desk with a straight face.

He felt a gaze when he sat down and pulled his book, but he ignored it.

He didn’t need any friends.

He had his volleyball.

_This year too, shall pass._

*

Tobio remembered it.

Tobio remembered when he got pulled by someone when their PE teacher told them to make a group of six because they’re playing volleyball. Tobio used to call sick whenever they need to make group in PE class and he’s about to do that _but this is volleyball_. He really wanted to do it, but he didn’t have any friends. Other children had gathered in small group of six, and he didn’t know what to do. He’s about to skip the class and went to the infirmary when he felt a hand stopped his movement. He looked at the person who stopped him.

It was Hinata Shouyou, his classmate.

He ended up being in Shouyou team, along with 4 other kids. The popular Oikawa Tooru, the athletic Iwaizumi Hajime, the kind Yamaguchi Tadashi, and the smart Tsukishima Kei.

They played the volleyball _amazingly_ and honestly, Tobio enjoyed it. He enjoyed the company, the existence of other people beside him.

They stuck together since that day.

Tobio remembered it. Tobio remembered how they stuck with each other like being glued, remembered how they spent their summer vacation by playing in the hill or catching fish in the river, remembered how obsessed they were with volleyball, remembered how they became so competitive with each other in becoming the best volleyball player, remembered how they got excited while watching the Spring Interhigh, remembered how they promised to become better and become _the best six players team,_ to attend a powerhouse school together, to play in Japan national team together—

Tobio wanted to cry.

He especially remembered how _that day_ went— _that day_ when everything went wrong. He remembered the fought, he remembered Tooru and Kei punched each other, he remembered Hajime tried to stop them but start fighting too because he accidentally got punched, he remembered Shou looked at them with frightened eyes, he remembered Tadashi’s agony cries, and he _fucking remembered_ how fast he ran.

_He ran, knowing that everything happened because of him._

He ran, ran, ran, ran, and ran, didn’t know where to go, didn’t know when to stop. He just ran because he didn’t want them to fight because of him, he didn’t want them to hate him, he didn’t want them to blame him.

_He just didn’t want to become alone again._

It was summer when they fight.

It was summer when he run.

It was summer when he left.

_And never came back._


	4. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tadashi, please don't joke with Tobio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update in Monday but I was busy ^^; enjoy!

“Tobio?” Kei called the person (or a ghost?) in front of him. Tobio startled, his eyes regaining focus and he let out a shuddering breath (did he even breathe?). He could see water in Tobio’s eyes and he kind of panicked.

God, it’s only 10 AM and he panicked all the time.

“Tobio? Are you okay?” Kei asked again, worried. Tobio blinked several times, trying to get rid the tears in his eyes. Kei waited. He didn’t know what to do, so he decided to let Tobio did anything he needed to do.

“I’m fine. So… we need to talk… seriously?” Tobio asked timidly while playing with his own hands. Kei ran his hand on his hair and huffed loudly.

“Well, yes, I guess. So, let’s start with your _wishes._ ”

“Okay, right, my wishes.”

“So…”

“So…”

They kept silent. Kei growled and banged his head to the floor, Tobio startled and looked at him confusedly.

“Kei?”

“ _You_ talk about _you._ Talk about _your wish._ What do you expect me to do, I don’t know any _single thing_ about you and your sudden appearance! God, give me a break, will you?!” Kei shouted hopelessly.

“But I already said that I don’t know anything about myself too! What do you expect me to do, then?!”

“I don’t know, stupid, it’s not my wish for you to appear in front of me! What do you want from me, _after 4 years?!_ I don’t even want to see you! _”_

Tobio wanted to cry.

It’s true that Kei should be the one who felt confused by his appearance. It’s true that it must shocked Kei when he woke up with Tobio in his chest. It’s true that Tobio suddenly came without any warning. From whoever perspective, it’s true that the one who’s at fault was _Tobio._

But it hurt to hear that _Kei didn’t want to see him._

He really didn’t know why did he suddenly appeared in Kei’s chest—he’s not lying. He’s on the same boat with Kei—he didn’t know what happened with him and what kind of miracles that brought him into this world again. The only thing he knew, the only thing that appeared in his mind was _he needed his wish to be fulfilled._ Other than that, he knew nothing. He didn’t even know about the wish that needed to be fulfilled, he really _knew nothing._

He didn’t realize that he already started to cry.

“I… I’ll just go to Tadashi’s house,” Tobio whispered. He hurriedly stood up while wiping his tears because _fuck, he’s crying hard._ His vision blurred and he could feel sobs in his throat, but he tried to hold it in. He didn’t want to be weak. He didn’t need Kei to be madder than this.

“Wait, Tobio, I—“ Kei lifted his head and he tried to grip Tobio’s hand, but Tobio slapped his hand away and ran out from his room. Kei stared without doing anything, and he decided to let Tobio go. _It felt like that time. It felt like that summer—when Tobio ran and never come back._ He lied on his back, staring blankly at his ceiling.

“What the fuck did I get myself into…” Kei mumbled and closed his eyes. Why did this happen to him?

*

Tobio walked without any shoes, and it made his feet kind of hurt.

It’s weird. He didn’t feel alive, but everything felt like he’s living. He felt numb, but he could feel his emotions. He could feel his feelings and his body could feel pain.

_He felt really weird and uncomfortable. What was he, for God’s sake?_

He looked around while walking. The small city didn’t change much, there were some upgraded buildings and some places looked different—but after all, it’s still the same city that he remembered. Busy, but calming. Noisy, but comforting. He loved it.

He walked in a dazed state and before he realized, he already arrived at Yamaguchi’s house. It didn’t change much—the persimmon tree in front of the house was growing magnificently. He remembered he used to climb that tree with his friends—with **_The Miyagi Monster Players Squad._** The sunflower garden that Tadashi’s mom grew still grew beautifully, the flowers lined up in a full bloom. He smiled softly.

He stopped at the front door. What should he do now? Rang the bell? Knock? Open the door and went in? He didn’t know what will happen when Tadashi saw him. Would he react badly like Kei did?

He contemplated very seriously until he decided to try to open the door. It wasn’t locked (Tadashi and his family should be more careful, geez) and he just went in.

“Sorry for the intrusion…” he mumbled. He didn’t know whether he wanted to be heard or not, but he felt too rude if he didn’t, at least, said those words when he’s coming in. He looked around the hallway and realized that Tadashi changed the color of his house wall. It’s a yellowy pastel color now, and it looked nicer than the (too) broken white color 4 years ago. There were more pictures in the wall—Tobio remembered that Tadashi’s father always loved taking pictures.

The house was quiet and Tobio wondered if anyone’s home—but the door wasn’t locked so he expected someone’s home. He walked towards the stair leading to Tadashi’s room quietly. He still didn’t know whether he wanted to be found by someone or not.

He stopped in front of Tadashi’s room. He heard some noises coming from the room so he knew that Tadashi must be in there. He tried to calm his nerves (he was sure that if his heart was still beating, it would beat really fast) and took a deep breath. He decided to barge in and let the rest to Tadashi’s reactions. He opened the door quietly and Tadashi’s back was welcoming him. Tadashi sat down in front of his TV, watching an anime with a headphone on his head. Tobio stepped in and looked around, Tadashi’s room still neat and full of otaku things. Action figures, mangas, DVDs… what startled Tobio the most was a life-size standee of Ayanami Rei. It crept him out. He threw his gaze to another side and he found a bright red frame in Tadashi’s table—identical with the one in Kei’s room. _Their squad._ It made him happy that his friends still had that photo, but it also made him kind of sad.

Tobio panicked when he saw Tadashi took out his headphone and sighing. _‘Oh my God he finished his anime what the fuck what to do—‘_ Tobio couldn’t calm his mind down. Tadashi stood from his spot and Tobio cursed.

“Rewatching Eva is the best~ I cannot wait for the final movie!” Tadashi talked to himself and stretched his body. Tobio knew he should hide or planned what to do next but he just froze. He panicked too much.

When Tadashi turned his body to Tobio, Tobio felt like his heart stopped beating (and then he remembered his heart didn’t have any beating anymore now so to stop the non-existent beats was impossible, but well he felt like it stopped _again_ , whatever). Tadashi looked straight to his eyes and Tobio froze.

“TADASHI YOU SHOULD LOCK YOUR DOOR—“

“Now, what to eat~ Aah I’m hungry!”

Tobio stood still. Tadashi just _ignored him._

_What the fuck._

“TADASHI!!!” Tobio tried to shout again but Tadashi didn’t stop. Tadashi closed his door and walk happily to the stairs, it looked like he was going to his kitchen. Tobio ran after him, he didn’t realize that he slammed the door a little bit too hard and it made a loud noise. Hearing the noise, Tadashi stopped and turned to his door, where Tobio stood.

“Now don’t ignore me—“ Tobio shouted angrily, he kind of pissed off that Tadashi ignored him like that. _Kei’s reactions was better than this, he hated being ignored._

“Did I forget to close the door? It closes so hard… Is there any wind? Did I open my window before?” Tadashi looked confused. Tobio _looked more confused._

“Hey, I said don’t ignore—“

“Is it a ghost?!” Tadashi paled and shouted. Tobio wanted to smack him.

“ARE YOU TRYING TO INSULT—“

“I am not hallucinating, right?!” Tadashi panicked and ran to his room door, but _Tobio was more panicked._

_Tadashi just walked through him._

_Tadashi._

_Just._

_Walked._

_Through._

_Him._

WHAT IS HE, AN INVISIBLE MAN?

“Tadashi please don’t joke with me—“

“Well there’s nothing... It must be my hallucination, maybe I just forgot to close the door. It’s kinda eerie, though… I’ll just ask Yachi to have lunch with me. I better go out now,” Tadashi mumbled after checked his door. He stormed down the stairs really fast and locked his front door.

Tobio stood still.

_Tadashi couldn’t hear him. Tadashi couldn’t see him._

_Tadashi couldn’t touch him. Tadashi just walk through him._

_‘What the actual fuck is happening?’_


	5. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unpredictable meeting.

Tobio had to go out from Tadashi’s window because apparently Tadashi didn’t forget to lock his door when he went out. Tadashi’s room was in 2nd floor, but Tobio couldn’t care less. _He’s already died anyway._ He thought he wouldn’t feel hurt when he fell down, but apparently it hurt. He grunted when he fell from the persimmon tree trunk that grew near Tadashi’s window, but nothing could stop him now.

He ran towards Shouyou’s house really fast. He didn’t think he ever ran this fast.

Oh, maybe he had. _That summer_ when he ran away from his friends.

He stopped in front of a shop. _Hinata Shop—_ Shouyou’s family shop. It was the place where his squad used to buy snacks, where Shouyou’s Mom gave them so many free snacks for them. It was the place where his squad would hung out after their volleyball practice every afternoon. It was the place where his squad usually play with Shouyou’s adorable younger sibling, Natsu.

_He really missed this place._

The shop is quiet, Tobio only see Miiko—Natsu’s cat—sleeping near the shop’s door. He peeked from the door, no one was there. He took a sight to the cashier, trying to figure out who’s in shift to take care of the shop and he felt relieved when he could see Shouyou behind the cashier, reading Weekly Shonen Jump. _He should finish his summer break homework rather than reading those,_ Tobio thought.

Tobio walked through the door and he stopped when Shouyou suddenly looked up. Shouyou kept silent, and Tobio felt his breath stopped.

_He should remember that he didn’t really need to breathe and he didn’t have any heartbeat right now._

Not long after, Shouyou looked down to his manga without saying anything. Tobio walked to the cashier and stopped right in front of Shouyou.

“Shou,” Tobio tried to call. Shouyou didn’t budge at all.

“Shouyou,” Tobio tried again. Shouyou turned out his manga page.

“Hinata Shouyou,” Tobio tried, again, with an annoyed tone. _He really hated to be ignored._

Shouyou’s focus still on his manga. Tobio took a deep breath.

“OI BOKE! STUPID SHRIMP! DUMBASS!” Tobio shouted and tried to slap his head.

But his hand went through Shouyou’s head,

and it looked like his voice didn’t reach Shouyou’s ear.

The only reaction he received was Shouyou’s confused face while touching his hair—like he’s feeling something. He looked around, it looked like Shouyou was trying to find something that collided with his hair. He found nothing, and even though his face still full with confusion, he continued to read his manga.

“Oh my God, what did I do to deserve this?” Tobio mumbled while palming his face.

Tobio felt hopeless. First Tadashi, now Shouyou. They couldn’t see him, why? But when he thought about it, no one seemed to notice him when he walked from Kei’s house barefooted. No one stopped him from being suspicious when he looked around the neighborhood, going to Tadashi’s house. He didn’t collided with anyone when he ran to Shouyou’s house.

Tobio wanted to cry.

He felt so frustrated that he didn’t know what to do. With his last remaining hope to get noticed by Shouyou, he did one last desperate attempt. He knocked down a shelf which was full of snacks, and it did took Shouyou’s attention.

_To the snack._

_Not to him._

Shouyou’s sighed and walk towards the shelf, trying to tidy it up. “Natsu should stop messing up with the shelf, it’s getting dangerous,” he mumbled.

That was the second time for Tobio to being walked through like he was nothing and he’s sure that his younger self would feel overjoyed with that. It’s cool. It’s amazing.

But not right now.

_Tobio walked out from the shop with tears in his face._

*

Tobio didn’t know where he wanted to go. He didn’t have any destination, he just walked and walked, relying to his instinct. His bare feet felt hurt, he felt tired, and believe it or not, he felt thirsty. He already stopped crying, but he still felt the wetness in his cheek. He hated crying and being weak like this, but he couldn’t help it. His random walk from Shouyou’s family shop made it clear that no one could notice his presence.

Unless you are Tsukishima Kei.

Tobio sighed. He already spent about 1 hour to contemplate about his fate. He stopped at a park near Shouyou’s house before, trying to figure out what had happened to him today. He woke up in Kei’s house. Kei got mad. He went to Tadashi’s house. Tadashi couldn’t see him. He went to Shouyou’s house. Shouyou couldn’t see him too. No one could see him _but Kei._ Why must _Kei?_ What did he do? What did Kei do? And now Kei hated him and didn’t want his presence around, what should he do?

Tired from thinking without figuring any things out, Tobio stood up and started walking again. He decided to go to Kei’s house first—he’s the only one who could see him after all. He should swallow down his pride (and hurt) because apparently Kei’s the one who could help him. _Maybe this is why he appeared in Kei’s house rather than in anyone else’s,_ because only Kei could see him.

Tobio didn’t bother to look around when he walked because he knew that he wouldn’t collide with anyone but without realizing, he fell down when he felt something bumped into his body.

Good, he could save time to confront Kei now.

“Kei, look, I—“ Tobio said without looking at the person in front of him. _There’s no other people who could see him so he was so sure that it was Kei who’s bumped to him._

“Are you okay?”

The voice stopped Tobio from talking. _That was not Tsukishima Kei’s voice._ Tobio looked at the legs in front of him, _there’s no way Kei would have this muscular, tanned legs._ That deep, baritone voice and that muscular, tanned legs _felt so familiar_ and someone appeared in his mind.

_Someone from his past—someone who spent his childhood with him._

“Hajime?” Tobio looked up with wide eyes.

And there he was, Iwaizumi Hajime, stood in sweat with his teal colored _Aoba Johsai_ shirt and white shorts, eyes as wide as Tobio’s.

“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update because I have some chapters in my draft!! I kinda want to post everything but well I'll post one by one patiently ^^ enjoy!
> 
> Next update will be filled with p a i n I'm sorry in advance!!!!


	6. Figuring Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad is complete, but it's not that easy.

Iwaizumi Hajime always looked handsome even when they were children. He’s the athletic, reliable and responsible one in their squad. He always looked intimidating and strict, but Tobio knew that he’s just upright and rigid.

_Tobio knew that Hajime was really kind and responsible, and maybe that’s why Hajime looked really troubled when he saw him._

Hajime _changed._ In terms of physique, at last. He got really athletic, with muscles and tanned skin. He looked like the sporty student that popular in school.

Oh, and talking about school…

So, Hajime decided to go to Seijoh, after all. _Well, they did promise each other to go to a powerhouse school and Seijoh is one of them._ It made Tobio thought about his other friends, he forgot to check which school Kei, Tadashi and Shouyou were going to.

“Are you… Kageyama Tobio?”

Hajime’s voice got him out from his mind. He could see Hajime, now crouched down in front of him. He stared straight to Hajime’s eyes and he could see that those green eyes looked confused, and well, scared. _That’s what you got from seeing a ghost, right?_

“If I said yes, what would you say?” Tobio asked timidly.

“I would say that I’m overexerted myself until I start hallucinating,” he answered calmly, but he still looked kind of scared.

“I cannot say anything about you being overexerted but I can say that you’re not hallucinating, because the Kageyama Tobio in front of you is real and I’m kind of glad that you can see me.”

“What do you mean you’re glad that I can see you?”

“Well, it’s complica—“

“Iwa-chan!”

_Tobio wished that he just go straight to hell rather than doing this, really._

Tobio could see someone stood behind Hajime’s crouched body. That someone is tall and also athletic, but he didn’t have as many muscles as Hajime.

_Tobio knew really well this scene—it always happened in the past. And of course he knew who would call Hajime with ‘Iwa-chan.’_

“You’re fast today, Trashykawa,” Hajime said without looking at Tooru because he still found Tobio… interesting? Tobio frowned at the arrival of Tooru. Hajime laughed lightly.

“I’m pretty sure that you’re the real Kageyama Tobio because you make that kind of face when you see this annoying person. You hate him since forever,” Tobio scowled more at Hajime’s words.

“Well, now you know that even if I already dead, I still hate him,” Tobio said while stood up. He frowned even more (how much he could frown, seriously?) when he found that Tooru was taller than him. Hajime looked up, seeing Tobio stared hard at Tooru.

But something was wrong.

Tooru didn’t spare a glance at Tobio—he just looked at Hajime confusedly.

“What are you doing and why are you talking about Kageyama Tobio? That kid is dead and you need to move on,” Tooru said with his annoyed face. Tooru always got annoyed whenever Tobio-related topic was coming. Hajime just stared at Tooru, and then to Tobio. He could see Tobio’s shocked face for a second, and then changed to his sad face, and finally he settled with his annoyed face.

_‘Oh,’_ Hajime realized.

“Trashykawa, you didn’t see anyone in front of you?” Hajime asked, looking up at Tooru because he’s still crouched down. Tooru tsk-ed at Hajime’s nickname for him but he tried to look at _anyone_ that Hajime meant. His confused face made Hajime believed that something was wrong.

“What are you talking about? No one’s here, Iwa-chan. It’s late and we’re far from the city center. And stop that Trashykawa nickname, it’s rude,” he said, his tone annoyed. Hajime could see Tobio scrunched his face at Tooru’s words.

_‘This isn’t good,’_ Hajime thought.

“Hey, stop crouching down and let’s continue our run. Are you tired already? I thought you’re the strongest in our team. We need to go to Nationals!” Tooru ruffled his own sweaty hair. “Maybe you’re really tired. You’re saying nonsense about Kageyama after all. Don’t turn out to be like him, Iwa-chan, you’ll ruin our team balance,” he continued. Hajime knew what Tooru meant. Hajime knew that Tooru knew what he meant.

And Hajime knew that Tobio knew _what Tooru meant._

And that’s it.

_Hajime could see Tobio’s disappointed, shocked, and sad face._

_Just like that time._

“So even after 4 years you’re still going to be like this, eh?” Hajime could hear Tobio’s whisper, but he didn’t know what to do.

_It’s just like that time. Tobio started with quiet anger, and Tooru responded with his too high ego (and octaves)._

But right now, Tooru didn’t respond.

At all.

“Hey, Iwa-chan, let’s go. Are you sick?” Tooru called for him again, but he didn’t spare Tooru a glance. His eyes still glued at Tobio. He knew what would Tobio do next.

_Tobio raised his hand and slapped Tooru’s head with full force._

Hajime was about to stop him when he saw Tobio’s hand went through Tooru’s head. Tobio kept trying to slap Tooru’s head but not even once he succeeded.

“Hey, Hajime, let’s continue. I feel chilly breeze on my neck, it’s late and I don’t want us to get sick,” Tooru said while rubbing at his neck. Hajime knew that Tooru’s getting serious because he used his given name again now, not that _Iwa-chan_ trash like before.

“It’s not chilly breeze, you jerk! It’s me trying to slap you! Stop me! Respond to me! Shout at me like you usually do!” Tobio shouted, his eyes was watery. Hajime felt something in his heart.

_It hurt._

“BE MAD AT ME, INSULT ME, ANYTHING! JUST RESPOND TO ME, GOODAMNIT!” Tobio shouted again, his hands still trying to slap, _or maybe just touch,_ Tooru. “TOORU!” and with that last shout, Hajime could see tears ran down on Tobio’s face.

“Hajime!” Tooru shouted again, annoyed at unresponsive Hajime.

“Shut up, be quiet for a moment, will you?” Hajime hissed while stood up, trying to touch Tobio but his hands were slapped away. Tooru looked at him like he grew second head.

“Seriously, what’s going on with you?” Tooru asked again, starting to feel scared at Hajime. _‘Did he get possessed?’_ he thought.

Hajime couldn’t tear his gaze from the crying boy in front of him. Tobio grew just like them, he looked the same like the last time he saw him, but his childish face evolved to something more mature and boyish. He grew taller too, even taller than him for a few centimeters.

_What is this looks-like-Tobio thing in front of him? Is this thing really Tobio, their friend?_

_Their dead friend?_

“I might show up in your house this night or tomorrow,” the Tobio in front of him mumbled, but Hajime could understand what he said. _Tobio used to mumble every time, anyway._

“I have so many ques—“

“Not here, not in front of Tooru who would thought you’re going crazy when you’re talking with me,” Tobio stopped his words.

“It’s just—I myself think that I’m going crazy. I cannot grasp whatever is happening now,” Hajime sighed, dejected. Whatever happening now was beyond logic.

“I think I’m going crazy too,” Tobio said while turned his body to the other way. “For your information, besides you, only Kei who could see me,” Tobio added before started to run.

“Wait, To—“ Hajime chased Tobio. He needed to talk—just for a while, just for a little talk that he thought he needed, but his heart started to beat like crazy when he saw a truck nearing Tobio.

_Just like._

_That time._

“TOBIO!” Hajime started to run. He ignored Tooru’s cries from behind and ran—ran as fast as he could—his heart pounding so fast in his chest.

_He knew that right now, he could run fast enough to reach Tobio._

_Fast enough._

_Fast enough._

_Fast enough._

_Reach him, Goddamint._

Hajime succeeded in pulling Tobio from collided with the truck but he felt like dying. The body above him was cold, there was no heartbeat from the chest that pressed in his chest, and there was no breath from the face in his neck.

_Hajime felt like dying._

“HAJIME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!!”

Hajime could hear Tooru’s footsteps—he could imagine Tooru ran frantically to him and he knew that he made Tooru worried like crazy with his actions.

Not to mention if what Tobio told him before was true—that Tooru couldn’t see him and the only one who could see him beside Hajime was Kei.

_Everything was beyond logic._

“Hajime, Hajime, oh my God, are you okay?” Tooru crouched down, panicked, beside him. Hajime still laid down on the street with Tobio above him. Hajime knew his unresponsive being made Tooru worried, but he couldn’t stop staring at Tobio who still had his head lowed into his neck.

_There was no breath._

_No warmth._

_No heartbeat._

_Nothing was alive from the body above him._

_Nothing was alive from Tobio._

“You shouldn’t do that, Hajime, I won’t die for the second time,” Hajime heard Tobio whispered to him, but he could feel the other boy body’s shaking. Tobio looked up with a sad, forced smile and stared into his eyes.

“Take care, I’ll visit you soon,” and with that, Tobio got up and ran—leaving Hajime sprawled on the street with a worried Tooru beside him.

“Hajime please just answer me, you’re making me really worried. Please, please, should I call an ambulance? Oh my God, Hajime, please, don’t do this to me,” Hajime could hear Tooru’s frantic voice and he finally, _finally,_ looked at Tooru.

“Oh my, oh my, thank God you’re moving! Hajime, Hajime, oh my why are you crying? Are you hurt somewhere? Please tell me you’re okay, oh my God what should I do?” Hajime brought his hand to his face and he just realized that he was crying. He wiped his tears and sat up, Tooru’s still panicking beside him. He patted Tooru’s head comfortingly.

“I’m okay. Sorry I worried you. Let’s just go home?” Hajime said while stood up. He felt so drained—it felt like his legs would give up on him but he tried to stand straight so Tooru wouldn’t get worried. Tooru still asked him if he was okay all the way back to home—and he told him every time that he was okay. Tooru insisted to walk him home to make sure he’s safe, and Hajime didn’t really care. _Tooru’s house was next to his house, anyway._

He kept saying that he was okay.

He knew that he was okay.

_But he knew that Tobio was not._

Hajime finally got home, took a shower and laid down on his bed with a fresh, comfortable clothes. He tried to comprehend what happened with him this afternoon, and he still couldn’t understand. _He just couldn’t._ He looked at his table and stared at the bright red frame with _his favorite photo._

_The Miyagi Monster Players Squad._

Hajime sighed. He opened his phone, clicked the LINE app and scrolled down his contacts. His mind recalled about what Tobio told him before.

_‘For your information, besides you, only Kei who could see me.’_

Hajime stopped at one contact. _Tsukishima Kei._

Should he called him? Or leave a chat? What could he say, though? He didn’t contact him for a long time. It’s weird to suddenly contact your _old friend_ , asking about your _dead friend,_ isn’t it?

But what could he do?

Hajime groaned and started typing a message to a certain _Tsukishima Kei._ He was sure that the boy wouldn’t respond him—he was a jerk to him anyway. Well, Tooru was the jerk but it was him who let Tooru to be a jerk so he knew that he was automatically a jerk too.

Hajime decided to be blunt. Everyone knows that he’s not good at being subtle, so why trying?

To: Tsukishima Kei <19.57 PM>

Hey, Tsukishima. it’s Iwaizumi. Did you happen to see Kageyama nowadays? Specifically, today?

Hajime threw his phone to his right. He saw Tooru’s message asking if he was okay (it’s practically a spam with the amount of messages he sent) but he didn’t want to answer it right now. His mind was full with Tobio—and he hoped Kei would answer him.

_But when his phone light up because a message from a certain Tsukishima Kei, he didn’t know that he would be that nervous. He didn’t expect him to answer this fast, for God’s sake._

_Fuck it, he didn’t expect him to answer at all._

From: Tsukishima Kei <20.00 PM>

He’s right in front of me. I suppose you met him today. He didn’t want to say anything.

Are you free tomorrow? Can we meet? I need to know what happened. I’ll bring him if you want.

He didn’t know whether he should feel happy, angry, annoyed, or sad, knowing that _the one_ who could see Tobio other than him was _Tsukishima Kei._

But well, shit happens. Hajime sighed and typed his reply without hesitation.

To: Tsukishima Kei <20.02 PM>

Come to my house whenever after lunch. And yea, bring him

My house’s still the same. You remember? Should I send my location?

From: Tsukishima Kei <20.03 PM>

I remember your house. I’ll come around 2.

To: Tsukishima Kei <20.03 PM>

Cool, see you

Hajime put his phone on his table and prepared to sleep. His mind kept going back to his meeting with Tobio before. He still remembered his cold body—without any heartbeat, without any breath.

He closed his eyes.

_If Hajime dreamed about a screeching sound, a shout, and a pair of blue eyes in the middle of red—he didn’t remember it in the morning._

_He just knew that he had a bad dream._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's longer than usual!
> 
> oh, and even though this story is inspired from Anohana, I develop the story with my own plot too so it won't be exactly the same with Anohana plot. I plan to expand each squad member story with Tobio so the story won't focused only on Kei.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it! :D


	7. Your Silence is Scary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A way back home to Kei's house.

Kei was finishing his game when he heard a loud thud from his front door. He frowned, his parents won’t be home until next week and his brother didn’t say anything about coming home. He checked his phone, in case his brother suddenly wanted to go home early, but there’s nothing in his phone. Moreover, his parents and Akiteru had their own keys.

He heard another loud thud. He turned off his game quickly and got up to open the door. Maybe his parents sent a delivery or package.

But no. On the other side of the door, a _Kageyama Tobio_ stood with a frown in his face. The black haired boy looked pale, his clothes dirty and he had some scratches in his hand. Kei kept silent, staring at the boy in front of him.

“I’m so done with being stared, let me in,” said Tobio. Kei furrowed his brows, Tobio’s voice tone was not good. He could imagine another fight coming.

“Well, it’s my house. I can do whatever I want, including letting you stand here without coming in,” Kei answered with his usual sarcastic tone. He expected Tobio to counter him with angry words, but it wasn’t coming. Tobio lowered his head, and Kei knew something had gone wrong with his trip to Tadashi’s house.

“Please… just… I want to sleep.”

“Do ghosts need to sleep?”

Tobio didn’t say anything for a while and Kei kind of regretted his choice of words. It was mean, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. It’s his personality.

_Maybe he really should try to become a better person._

“Can you stop being a jerk for a moment? I really don’t want to have a fight right now. I’m tired,” Tobio mumbled. Kei opened the door wider and gestured him to come in.

“Okay, okay, Your Majesty, you can come in and take a rest. Whatever.” Tobio didn’t answer his taunt and walked straight to his living room. Kei walked behind him, still trying to figure out what happened with Yamaguchi. Did Yamaguchi react worse than him?

“What happened with Yamaguchi?” asked Kei when they finally arrived at his living room. Tobio laid down in his sofa and he took a seat on the floor, right in front of the sofa. With this position, Kei could observe Tobio’s face and gestures, and he assumed that something had made Tobio disappointed and sad.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Tobio answered softly while hiding his face in a small pillow, too soft that Kei almost didn’t catch him.

“I just want to know if you’re okay, you have scratches in your hand. Can you feel any pain, though?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it. I’m fine, but I’m tired. I want to rest.”

“You’re sure? Something happened with Yamaguchi, right?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!” Tobio shouted and stood up from his position, making Kei surprised.

“You don’t need to be angry, geez,” Kei said with a bored tone, but inside, he was worried. Tobio didn’t look good and he knew that he was one of the reasons.

“I already said I don’t want to talk about it. Leave it, okay? I want to rest,” Tobio whispered and he laid down again, his hand covering his face. Kei looked at him for a moment before stood up and leaving the living room.

“If you’re not comfortable in the sofa, I have a futon in my room. Use it. You know where the bathroom is and if you need clean clothes, you can use anything from my wardrobe. If you want to eat something, take whatever you want—just don’t eat the strawberry cake,” Kei said before closing the living room door.

“Thank you, Kei… and I’m not stupid enough to eat your strawberry cake, don’t worry,” he heard Tobio answered with a small chuckle.

_Well, Kei really needed to make sure no one eat his strawberry cake._

*

Kei laid down in his bed with phone in his hand. He had been playing an online game for a while when he heard his door being opened.

Tobio stood at his doorframe with a banana milk in his hand.

“Can I… come in?”

“Yeah, of course. You want me to spread the futon?”

“Ah, I’ll do it myself. Can I… sleep here? In your room?”

Kei stilled. It’s been a long time since someone had a sleepover in his room, and now the first one to break the record was _his dead friend._

_Amazing._

“Um, it’s okay if I can’t. I’ll just bring the futon to your living room.”

“No, no, you can sleep here. Just spread it beside my bed,” Kei answered quickly. Tobio nodded and grabbed the futon from one of his cupboard. _Tobio still knew. Tobio still remembered where he put the futon._

After spreading the futon, Tobio sat there and continued to finish his milk. Kei stared at the boy in front of him. _Tobio still loved milk._

When he was staring at Tobio, a chat came in to his LINE account. He absentmindedly check the chat—he thought it was from another Official Account because no one tried to contact him nowadays.

His heart was almost stopped when he read the sender’s name.

_Iwaizumi Hajime._

_Wow, what a day. First he found Tobio in his chest, and now Iwaizumi was sending him a chat?_

Kei opened the chat and _Kageyama Tobio_ was found in it. Kei sighed and took a look at Tobio who’s about to finish his milk. His face already brightened from drinking milk. _How old is he, five?_

Kei chatted with Iwaizumi for a while. After agreeing to meet tomorrow, he locked his phone and put it beside his pillow. He turned his eyes to Tobio who surprisingly was staring at him.

“Iwaizumi just chatted me,” Kei said lightly. He saw Tobio flinched at the mention of Iwaizumi.

“I still… don’t want to talk about it,” Tobio answered while looking down, avoiding his eyes.

“Yeah, I won’t force you to talk now,” Kei said while turning his whole body to Tobio’s direction and hugged a pillow. “But we need to see him tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Tobio asked, unsure. Kei nodded. Tobio kept silent and Kei thought that he didn’t really want to see Hajime tomorrow, but Kei knew that he needed to. He needed to solve whatever happened this afternoon soon. The faster, the better.

“You need to see him, sooner or later. He knows you’re exist, so I assume you met him this afternoon. I prefer to settle this as soon as possible.”

“Settle what?”

“Your existence, your wish, blah blah. I don’t want to be followed by a ghost for a long time.”

“You just want me to disappear. Asshole.”

“You don’t?”

“I don’t what?”

“You don’t want to disappear?”

Kei didn’t hear any response from Tobio, and maybe it was too straightforward. Or rude. Or whatever.

_Again, he really should try to become a better person._

“I… don’t know,” Tobio answered after a while. Kei stared at his confused face.

_To be honest, Kei didn’t want him to disappear._

_Kei didn’t want him to be gone._

_Kei didn’t want him to leave._

Kei shook his head before his thoughts became wilder. He stood up to turn off the light.

“Let’s just figure this out tomorrow with Iwaizumi. Just try to sleep and take a rest now,” Kei said while laying down in his bed. He gave Tobio a pillow and a thin blanket, knowing that Tobio couldn’t sleep without using a blanket even in the hottest night. Tobio accepted it and tried to get comfortable in the futon.

“Good night, Kei. Thank you, and… I’m sorry,” Tobio whispered.

Kei didn’t say anything—he didn’t believe his voice right now.

_Because this familiarity—it made his throat and heart clenched. Hard._

_Kei could feel some tears in his sleep, and he thought he saw a bright blue eyes with a gentle smile in his dream._

_‘Don’t go. Don’t leave._

_Don’t disappear.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm late in updating this week, sorry! And it's kinda short, but next chapter will be longer. Thank you for reading! :D


	8. Nostalgic Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three childhood friends, trying to understand what's happening in their life.

Hajime’s house was located near the hill where their favorite warehouse was. The squad often came to Hajime’s (or Tooru’s, since their house were next to each other) house to have lunch when they decided to spent their time at the warehouse all day. Hajime-mama was very kind and full of warmth, whereas Hajime-papa was funny and loud. They were both strict but always gave their children freedom, which made Hajime and his younger brother grew as responsible and independent teens. Hajime-mama always loved to prepare Tobio’s favorite curry every time they had lunch in Hajime’s house—which never failed to make Tooru whined full with envy. _‘Hajime-mama only loves Tobio!’_ he always said. Hajime-mama just laughed whenever Tooru said that, but after lunch was finished, she always gave Tooru extra dessert. _His favorite milk bread._

Hajime decided that his mother loved Tobio and Tooru the most, more than she loved him and his younger brother.

Waiting for a certain _Tsukishima Kei_ with _Kageyama Tobio_ as an extra topping was an indescribable feeling for Hajime. Not to mention that one of them was supposed to be _dead,_ not walking around visiting his house. He sighed and looked at his clock. It’s fifteen minutes to 2. If Kei was still the same person from 4 years ago, he believed that they would arrive soon.

“Hajime! Kei-kun is here!” his mother voice could be heard from the living room. Hajime sighed and stood from his bed. While walking to the living room, he could hear his mother’s excited voice—talking to Kei.

_Not to Tobio._

_Maybe it’s true that only him and Tsukishima who could see Tobio._

Hajime entered the living room—welcomed by his mother’s happy face and Kei’s awkward face. Kei’s eyes met his and he apologized silently. He could see Tobio—he was seating on Kei’s left, but the boy kept silent and his head down. Hajime walked to a chair beside his mom and took a seat.

“Mom, stop scaring him,” he said while sighing.

“I’m so happy that Kei-kun finally come to visit us! It’s been a long time since I see your childhood friends, well, except Tooru because he practically lives here… Kei-kun is so tall now! When’s the last time I see you, Kei-kun? I think it’s at Tobio-kun’s—”

“Mom,” Hajime stopped his mother words. He glanced at Kei and Tobio—their expression didn’t change much, but he knew that his mother words bothered them.

“Oh my, I’m sorry. Well, I’ll leave you two alone. Have fun, boys!” His mother stood up, leaving the boys alone.

“Um, we could talk in my room,” Hajime said awkwardly, “if you want?” he added slowly. Kei glanced at Tobio who didn’t respond at all.

“I guess your room is the best choice,” Kei answered with a blank face. He nodded, gesturing the two other boys to follow him— _in case they forgot where his room was._

“Kei-kun, I have your favorite strawberry shortcake in my fridge! Do you want it?” his mother shouted from the kitchen.

“Just send it to my room, Mom!” Hajime shouted while walking to his room.

“Okay!”

They walked to the room which was not too far from the living room. He stood silently in front of the door—Kei and Tobio looked at him confusedly.

“Mom, send three pieces of cake, okay!” Hajime shouted suddenly. His mother’s head peeked from the kitchen door.

“Three? Why?”

“Tsukishima wants to eat two pieces,” Hajime said, unbothered.

“Wha—“ Kei wanted to protest, but he was stopped by his mother’s loud laugh.

“I know you still love those sweets, Kei-kun! Don’t worry, I have many!”

“Ah… thank you, Iwaizumi-san.”

“What’s with that Iwaizumi-san? I’m Hajime-mama, right? I won’t give you any cakes if you still call me Iwaizumi-san. I feel so old,” his mother whined.

“You are old, Mom,” he interrupted.

“Hajime, don’t. So, where’s the magic words, Kei-kun?” He glanced at his two friends and he could see their smile.

“Thank you, Hajime-mama,” his mother smiled warmly and vanished to the kitchen. Hajime could hear Tobio’s voice saying that words too—even though he knew that his mother couldn’t hear Tobio.

Hajime couldn’t help but smile too, and gestured his two friends to come into his room.

_It’s been a long time since he heard Tobio and Tsukishima called his mother ‘Hajime-mama’ and it warmed his heart. Very much._

*

“So you’re saying that you just… magically appeared in Tsukishima’s house?”

The three childhood friends were seating on the floor of Hajime’s room, legs sprawled out with finished plates of strawberry shortcake in front of them. Tobio—who was munching on a pork bun (his favorite) that his mom brought together with the shortcake—nodded eagerly. Tobio just told him about his _adventure_ yesterday—waking up in Kei’s room, going to Tadashi’s and Shouyou’s house only to be ignored because they couldn’t see him, until he collided with Hajime and met Tooru on the street. Hajime glanced at Tsukishima who kept silent with unreadable expression (he’s always like that since forever) and then he looked back at Tobio. He finished the bun and looking at Hajime, like he’s expecting something from him. Hajime sighed.

“Do you have any idea why do Tsukishima and I could see you but the others couldn’t?” Hajime asked. He could see Tobio’s face scrunched and he looked down, playing with the fork that he used for eating the finished strawberry shortcake.

“I… don’t know. I just know I have a wish to be fulfilled, but I also don’t know which one of the wish that needs to be fulfilled. I have… so many wishes, you know? I used to have a bucket list when we were children,” Tobio answered, and Hajime remembered. Tobio used to have a book—full with his volleyball journal and his bucket list.

“Yes, I remember your book. Okay. Maybe we could start from there? We could look for your book and check all your bucket list. We could fulfill it one by one,” Hajime said.

“Are you crazy? This guy had so many bucket list and most of them are impossible to be fulfilled. He used to want to have a farm full of cow just so he could drink milk forever,” Kei protested, remembering all nonsense that Tobio used to write in his bucket list. Tobio looked offended but he blushed too, embarrassed by his stupidity when he was a kid. Hajime laughed loudly.

“Ah, I totally forgot that Tobio used to have so many weird wish,” Hajime stopped laughing and looked at his two childhood friends. “But there’s no other way to resolve this situation, right? We should start somewhere and I think Tobio’s book is a good start. I don’t think Tobio come back from the dead to own a farm, I think he come back for something meaningful… and related to us two, because only us could see him, Tsukishima,” Hajime glanced at the bright red frame. “Or maybe related to our… squad.”

“I have a feeling that my wish is related to our squad too, because well… I don’t have anyone besides you all and my sister. And I clearly didn’t wake up at my sister’s room,” Tobio agreed, he glanced at the bright red frame on Hajime’s table. “But then again, Tadashi, Shouyou and Tooru… couldn’t even see me,” he whispered his last sentences, but Kei and Hajime could hear it clearly.

“Well, let’s not think too hard about that right now,” Hajime said, trying to lift up the mood. “Why don’t we search for your book first, Tobio? Like I said, we should start somewhere.”

“Ah, yes, I agree,” Tobio nodded and looked at Kei, judging him with his stare. “Look, you could be helpful like Hajime instead of getting mad at me. I know I could depend on Hajime.”

Kei frowned at Tobio’s words. “Well, sorry for being shocked and annoyed by your stupidity. You could stay with him if you find he’s more useful than me,” he said, annoyed.

“Stop fighting, will you?” Hajime sighed. “This situation is out of our hands and blaming each other will only make everything worse. Let’s just try to make everything easier by getting friendly with each other,” Hajime looked at them who still had frown in their face. Hajime chuckled—they didn’t change at all.

“By the way, you could touch things, Tobio? I see you have no problems in eating. Could you feel hungry, tired, hurt, or anything? I’m pretty curious because, well…” Hajime stopped, trying to find the right words about yesterday accident. “I couldn’t feel any warmth or heartbeat from you yesterday. And you don’t have any breath too.”

“Well, apparently I could touch things _if I want to,_ ” Tobio said while moving his fork in his hand. “But I think I could be… totally invisible if I want to? Like if my mind is blank enough, I won’t collided with anything unless it’s you two? I didn’t collide with anything or anyone while I was running yesterday, except you,” Tobio answered while looking at Hajime. “And about feeling hungry, tired, hurt, or anything… I don’t really feel hungry but it’s just… I want to eat and drink? I think I’ll be fine without eating but well I always liked to eat so I want to? I think I could feel tired and hurt though, because I felt really tired yesterday, but maybe it’s just my mind playing tricks on me? Suggestion? I don’t really know too, sorry…” Tobio mumbled, his face looked confused. Hajime laughed slowly and patted his head.

“It’s okay. We could figure everything out slowly, don’t think too hard.”

“Yeah, don’t think too hard. Your stupid brain couldn’t handle it,” Kei said with a smirk. Tobio scowled and slapped his hand.

“Oh, but I’m pretty sure I won’t die for the second time even though I hurt. Like you said, I don’t have any heartbeat, any breath or any warmth. I’m already dead anyway,” Tobio said suddenly—making Kei and Hajime silent. They looked troubled with Tobio’s words, and it made the tension in the room uncomfortable.

“Uh, sorry, I think my wording is bad. I just... don’t want someone trying to save me like what you did yesterday. I don’t want any of you to get hurt, I’ll be fine, okay?” Tobio said awkwardly.

“Yeah, I get it. But even though you couldn’t… die for the second time… please just be careful for the sake of my mind and my heart,” Hajime whispered. He looked pale, and Tobio understood why was Hajime saying something like that.

_He’s the one who saw Tobio on that day, and by looking at Hajime’s reactions in yesterday accident, Tobio knew that it still haunted him until now. And knowing Hajime still haunted by that day, Tobio couldn’t help but felt guilty._

“I’ll try to be careful. Sorry,” Tobio nodded. “So, do we go to my house to search my book or what?” Tobio said, trying to change the topic.

“I think it’s the best idea,” Hajime agreed.

“But there’s no one in Tobio’s house right now,” Kei said. Tobio and Hajime looked at him confusedly.

“What do you mean? Did my sister—“ Tobio panicked, thinking about something happened to his sister made his stomach lurched. Hajime kept silent, he didn’t keep in touch with Tobio’s sister since Tobio’s funeral and Tobio’s house was nearer to Kei and Tadashi’s house so he didn’t know what happened to Tobio’s sister.

“Relax, nothing happened. Your sister moved to Tokyo not long after… your accident. She’s working as personal make-up artist for a celebrity, I think? My mother told me,” Kei answered. “I think she comes home once in a while, though. My mother met up with her occasionally when she’s in town. I don’t really know. My mother is the one who keep contact with her. I could ask my mother if you want,” hearing Kei’s explanation, Tobio sighed and relaxed. His sister always want to move out from Miyagi to somewhere more glamorous and modern which was more suitable for her occupation as a hair dresser and make-up artist, but she needed to take care of him ever since their grandfather died. To know that she finally could go to Tokyo made Tobio felt happy and glad.

“Please ask your mom, Kei,” Tobio said. “But maybe we could go to my house to… explore? If we’re lucky, maybe we could find the spare key in the usual spot that I know.”

“We could do that while I’m asking my mom. Just finished messaging her,” Kei said with his phone in his hand.

“It’ll be good if you know where the spare key is located. We could explore your house without feeling awkward without your sister there,” Hajime said and Kei nodded—agreed with Hajime. It’ll be _really awkward_ to ask _your dead friend’s sister_ about _your dead friend’s childhood book._ Not to mention their last communication was at _your dead friend’s funeral._

It’s beyond awkward.

“Well, let’s get going?” Tobio said while stood up. Kei and Hajime followed him. Before they left the house, they said goodbye to Hajime’s mom first.

“You should come here more often, Kei-kun! I’ll keep strawberry shortcake in my fridge for you,” Hajime’s mom said to Kei while patting his head. It’s kind of comical since Kei was about 30 centimeters taller than her, but Kei looked happy with the treatment. Kei just nodded and smiled, and after that Hajime said that they would take a walk for a while. Hajime’s mom bid them goodbye with a smile.

“Your mom didn’t change at all,” Tobio said while they were walking. Kei smiled and nodded, Hajime’s mom was as warm as he remembered.

“Well, she’s always worried about us all. After… everything happened,” Hajime said with a sad smile. “She wants to make sure all of us are okay, but she’s afraid to intervene too much. I always told her not to worry and we’re fine, but I think she knows that we’re not okay at all. This is my first time I meet Tsukishima after a while, to be honest, and I never contacted Yamaguchi or Hinata. Tooru is the one that I still communicate with,” Tobio gasped at Hajime’s words. Did his friends really grew apart?

“Is it… my fault?” Tobio asked timidly. Kei and Hajime kept silent, they didn’t know how to answer the question because _they didn’t know the answer._ They just stopped communicating without even knowing. It’s like seeing each other would only make them felt sad and guilty—and without saying anything, they just grew apart. They took their own path without minding each other because they didn’t want to _feel,_ they didn’t want to _remember_ the hurt that they experienced that day. Hajime still communicated with Tooru only because they’re neighbors and their parents were close—and even with Tooru, he never talked about their childhood squad and accident because it made them upset.

“It’s because our own decision,” Kei broke the silence. “We had our own consideration, and even though it’s related to your accident, it’s not your fault.”

“Hmm,” Tobio hummed. “But the accident triggered it, right?”

“I guess it was,” Hajime answered. “But it doesn’t matter now.”

“Of course it matters,” Tobio said. “I never wanted us to grow apart. Why do you think I ran that fast back then?”

“Can we stop talking about this?” Kei snapped. He really hated to talk about _that fateful day,_ not to mention _Tobio_ was here, talking about it like it didn’t happen to him. Like he didn’t suffer from it.

_Everyone in their squad knew that Tobio was the one who really didn’t want them to grow apart, but what could they do after everything that happened?_

“I still want to talk about it, though,” Tobio answered calmly. “I think it would be nice if the five of you could become close again. We had so much fun before, right?”

“Yeah, and your disappearance made all the fun vanished too,” Kei answered without thinking and he could feel Hajime jabbed his sides with a little too much energy. He almost snapped but he saw Tobio’s face—he had a sad smile with a longing stare at the sky.

“So it was my fault after all,” Tobio mumbled, still looking at the sky. “Sorry.”

Kei didn’t know what to say—neither did Hajime. They walked in silence, fortunately Tobio’s house was already near so they didn’t need to bear the uncomfortable silence for too long. When they arrived, they stood in front of the gate—reminiscing their old memories. They remembered Tobio’s garden—where his grandfather used to teach them many volleyball tricks. They remembered watching V-League at Tobio’s living room where Miwa—Tobio’s older sister—would join them and commenting here and there. The house never felt lively, but it was homy and welcoming.

But now, it looked so cold and empty.

After a while, Tobio hopped the gate like a pro. Kei and Hajime looked at him flabbergasted, but Tobio didn’t care. _It was his home after all._ Tobio walked to a flower pot near a window and rummaged it. When he found the spare key (which was full of dirt from the pot), he walked to the gate and opened it.

“Did you used to hop the gate like that?” Kei asked, bewildered. Tobio smirked and swirled the key in his fingers.

“Well, I used to hop from the back gate near the bushes there. It was shorter and hard to find, but now no one could see me but you two, I think it’s no problem if I hop this front gate,” Tobio explained. “Besides, I’m taller now so I could reach the front gate easily. I should make use of my grown body to the fullest, don’t you think?”

“Well, yeah, whatever suits you,” Kei shrugged. He looked around at Tobio’s house—it kind of looked creepy and abandoned, but it was clean. It looked like Tobio’s sister never forget to come home and cleaned the house once in a while. Tobio opened the front door and they didn’t waste any time to come in.

“Sorry for the intrusion…” Kei and Hajime said together. The house looked empty, it looked like Tobio’s sister brought some things from the house to Tokyo. Tobio looked around—it seemed like he’s trying to remember the house where he was grow up. The frames in the wall were still there and his grandfather’s favorite old clock was still stood straight on the corner of the corridor—even though it’s no longer working. Tobio walked slowly to the living room, Kei and Hajime followed closely behind him.

They arrived at the living room and it felt like they turned back the time. The sofa and the table were still the same since 4 years ago, and the tube TV didn’t change at all. It was where the squad would watch the volleyball match. On the right was the small kitchen with a dining table and 3 chairs—used by Tobio, his sister and his grandfather when they had a meal. Beside the TV, stood an altar which they used to visit almost every day back then—to greet and pray for Tobio’s grandfather. Tobio walked to the altar automatically—his body remembered its’ routine.

Kei and Hajime noticed the slight flinch in Tobio’s body when they arrived in front of the altar.

Alongside with Tobio’s grandfather photo, there was Tobio’s photo in the altar—and a photo of Tobio and his grandfather smiling together, holding a volleyball.

Tobio sat down, Kei and Hajime following him.

“Please pray for me too, guys,” Tobio chuckled before made a prayer.

Kei and Hajime couldn’t help but to feel hurt and guilty.

_They never prayed for Tobio ever since the accident happened._

*

“I’m surprised that there’s no dust at all in here,” Tobio said while looking around at his own house. “Maybe Miwa-neechan paid someone to clean this house routinely?”

“It could be, or she’s just come home often enough,” Hajime said while trying to find any dust in the table, but he found none.

“Hmm, well whatever. Let’s just go to my room,” Tobio said, walking to the stair. Even though he’s trying hard to look calm, Kei and Hajime could see that Tobio was nervous. They walked silently to Tobio’s room and when they arrived, Tobio didn’t make a move to open the door.

“I could open the door if you want,” Hajime said after a while. Tobio startled from his thought and looked at Hajime thankfully.

“Please,” Tobio said nervously. Hajime nodded and opened the door—they walked in slowly while looking around at Tobio’s room.

The pale blue wall was still the same. The single-sized bed was still there—the small table beside the bed still had Tobio’s lamp and digital clock in there. The sheets was Tobio’s favorite—with small volleyball pattern all over it. His cupboard was still the same—full with One Piece and volleyball stickers, gifts from their childhood snacks. There were medals in his wall—collections from many match since he was a child. His grandfather hung them in his room to keep him motivated in practice. His study desk was neat and clean, the books barely opened unless Kei or Tadashi came to help him in study.

And there it was.

_The bright red frame._

Tobio felt like his time was suddenly stopped.

“Tobio? Are you okay?” Kei asked, concerned. Tobio gulped and nodded—he could see Hajime already walked to his study desk—looking at the bright red frame. Kei nodded at Tobio’s answer and walked to Hajime. Tobio followed them.

“I can’t believe Miwa-neechan leave my room just as it is,” Tobio said slowly. “Most of people pack the deceased things to prevent them in remembering. We packed Kazuyo-san’s things together back then,” he said while lifting the bright red frame.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to forget,” Hajime said slowly while seeing Tobio’s medals on the wall. “It didn’t feel real, after all.”

Tobio smiled sadly while putting the bright red frame back to his desk. It didn’t feel real, indeed. He himself didn’t feel his death was real, so he couldn’t imagine his sister’s and his friend’s feelings when it happened.

It pained him to imagine it.

Tobio opened the first drawer in his study desk. He found volleyball magazine, a couple of Weekly Shonen Jump comics, and finally, his book. He took it out and showed it to his two childhood friends.

“Found it.”

They sat down at Tobio’s floor, circling down _the sacred book_ nervously. They stared down at the book like their life depended on it. Tobio gulped nervously before he opened the book slowly. Tobio’s messy handwriting welcomed them.

_Kageyama Tobio’s secret book._

_Don’t read it or I’ll hunt you down!!!!!_

_I won’t forgive you even if you’re Miwa-neechan, Kei, Sho, Tadashi, Hajime, or Tooru_

_BACK OFF!!!_

“You won’t hunt us down, won’t you?” Hajime chuckled at Tobio’s opening words. Kei laughed lightly.

“What are you talking about? He already hunt us down now,” Kei said, still laughing.

“Oh, shut up. I had this book since I was 12. Go easy on me,” Tobio answered, embarrassed. “I’m going to open it…” Tobio said, Kei and Hajime nodded nervously.

_They just hoped they could finish this soon before one of them breaking down._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really late in updating, sorry :( hope everyone enjoy the update, thank you for reading!


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